Today..

So... Today was pretty uneventful. I didn't really do anything but go to school... where pretty much nothing happened.

Nothing ever happens at school.. Nothing different anyways, the same exact things happen everyday.. I hang out with the same exact people, follow the same exact routine. High school needs to be more.... just.. more. There needs to be more to do, more options than this. It's all so.. boring. If the school systems really cared about us learning, they would make school more enjoyable. They would make it so that kids wanted to go to school. The schools ideas of "fun activities" translates to the students as "A waste of time" or "We're going to be doing something worse than just sitting there writing? Crap."

Teachers claim to want us to succeed and have actions that show the opposite.

I'm really sick of the whole school thing.. I really don't want to go anymore.. Like I really have a choice though.. Oh well. I'll get over it. I only have 3 more years..

YES!

So, I made this comic... It's not very good.. or very funny. But hey, it's what I came up with... Fuck you xD

HAHAHAHAHAHA

oh... I am such a failure. hahaha. wow.. I SOMEHOW manage to ruin everything. I mean really. Everything was looking good for awhile, and I miraculously found a way to ruin it for myself. Why can't I just be content for once?

I can't even begin to explain how much I wish I could just start over... But I can't.

I had the thing I desire most! I HAD IT! It was mine! And I was careless, and I let my mind go, and I lost it. THE ONE THING THAT I'VE EVER WANTED! I lost it..




hahahaha. I just don't care anymore.. I really don't... Because no matter what, I'm always going to find a way to fuck everything up.

I drew Adam :D

MMMMMkay. This is the original picture of Adam.... The best fucking picture ever. xD I love it.

And this is the one I drew... no comparison really.. My drawing sucks.. But hey. I did it in like five minutes. so that has to count for something... and the hands don't look that bad... :D I did good I think.

The wonderfull me!

Even the flowers wish they could amount to my beauty.
I think that these flowers are jealous too. But not as jealous as the first flowers.

You guys better enjoy the color of my hair. Because by Monday, the tips are going to be Purplish Blue :D
Awww My hair looks pretty here. I'm not sure I even want to dye it now... xD My hair goes from dark to light to Darker to Lighter... great.. I've got quad hair.
For those of you who didn't know, this is the famous Awkward Sara Smile.
LOOK AT MY BOOBS!
OK... I seriously didn't even know that this window existed.. I have like... NEVER been on this side of my house.. ha ha.

The Aging of Sara Lynn

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Age : Early 13

Hahahaha. This was awhile back. I guess this was my "I refuse to wash my hair" phase, because my hair is pretty greasy. That's disgusting. So.. I look good in this picture other than that I guess.

Age : Late 13 Early 14

Haha. Here we go. My goth phase. Ah, what a phase that was. I look good in this one.. you know, if you forget about the whole Gothic factor. oh well. At least I don't have eyeliner all over my face. I really can't stop laughing while looking at this picture. I was such a failure.

Age: Mid 14

Oh my god.. This was horrible. I actually let Melissa talk me into letting her dye my hair the color of her choice. Not only did she pick a horrible color, but she didn't do a very good job of dying it. She didn't even get all of my hair. I'm just glad that it was washout. I'm NEVER letting Melissa dye my hair again.... Ever.

Age : Late 14

And this is me now. Not Gothic, not grungy. Just Sara. And she's a pretty cool kid. I'm not the kind of girl that people notice a lot. I'm not the kind of girl who people go out of their way to talk to. I'm the kind of girl who sits there quietly, and waits for someone to notice that I'm something out of the average. But the problem is that I'm too socially retarded to keep them around for long. So I wait.. For someone who will put up with all the insanity.. Until I finally come out of it, until I'm finally sane again. But that hasn't happened yet. So I wait more, for someone to come along that understands, and is patient, and loves me enough to stay around.

Soooooo..

I'm going to tell you people about my day, and you will fucking listen to me. Today was a much better day than yesterday. Yesterday I felt like dying. I was seriously freaking out... a lot. But it was all worked out, and I'm calm now. I'm not good. I'm not bad. I'm just calm... It's amazing how one thing can effect 1000 more. One thing can go wrong, and it can change you're whole year. One mistake can change your world. But then to balance that, one good thing can change your world back. It seems that the later is a harder thing to do though. Why is it that it is so much easier to bring people down than to help them up? It is so easy for people to think negative things about themselves, and so hard for them to believe the positive things. I don't know what it is about the human race, why we are all so negative. I think that in the end, everything balances out. For every good thing, there is a bad. Every good trait someone has, there is a bad trait. People tell you that it is wrong to hate, but without hate, would love really be as special? If we are supposed to love our enemies, then what does that say about love? It takes away all meaning from the word.

People tell me all the time that I'm a good person, why can't I see it? Why, no matter how hard I try, can't I see that I'm not worthless? Everything that I ever try and do I fail at. All except a few things. The only things that I can do are draw, sing, and according to some of you, write. Three things, what a big accomplishment. I can do three things right. Where is the balance in that? Three things can't possibly make up for my lack of social graces, my inability to cooperate, my high expectations of others and myself, my paranoia, my rudeness. Oh well, I guess I'm just an abnormality of the world. I'm just a spare part, an extra piece of puzzle that no one knows what to do with.

Two Faced

Your lies seem uncontrollable
Like you don't know what you're saying
Your tales seem too predictable
But the edges of your lies are fraying
How can you live with it?
Not even knowing who you are
You throw around comments, with false wit
Keep the truth hidden away in a jar
What you're doing is immoral
Hiding behind your mask
You and everyone around you quarell
You just can't rise to the task
You are two faced
Your true self needs to be uncased

Die

I don't know what it is about you
What keeps you grinning?
Tell me what I could possibly do
To stop you from winning
I wish that I could see you die
I only wish that I could kill
All I want is for you to cry
Your corpse in its coffin, cold and still
I wish I could find the strength
to kill you where you stand
I would go to any length
Hate marks my heart, a red hot brand
I hate you so much
Ebrace death, its cold loathing touch.

My new blog

So... A new blog account... It will eventually have hundreds of entries about things that go through my mind. Ideas I come up with, things that I feel, or just pure insanity. Maybe eventually, what I have to say about the world will be so grand, and so brilliant, that people will worship my text as they would their God. I doubt it. Maybe one day, all of you internet dwellers, will anxiously await my next Blog. I highly doubt that too. Eventually, Maybe my blog will be one of the top read blogs in the world... That actually could happen... But I doubt that it will. So.... A couple things that pop into my mind.. Salad Fingers (Get the fuck on YouTube if you don't know what that is), Skinning babys and throwing them into pits, Zebras with bass guitars surgicly attatched to their heads.