If you are easily offended.. Don't read this.

Well, seeing as I'm a worthless piece of shit, I should probably just go die. But instead, I'm going to rant about how much of a worthless piece of shit I am on here. It'll be good times.

So apparently the biggest thing that makes me a worthless piece of shit is that I'm not a Christian. Apparently I'm ignorant because I don't believe in an imaginary man that lives in the sky. I am a horrible person because I don't believe that we all came from two people who were made from some dirt and a rib. According to someone who "loves me" I'm going to hell, I'm ignorant, and I don't know anything about what I'm talking about. I guess he just knows far more than me. I guess I'm just stupid because I have been through too much shit to believe that there is someone looking out for me. No. Fuck that, I'm too smart to rely on an imaginary man in the clouds to protect and save me. All I have is myself, and fuck, that's all I need.

Of course there are many contributing factors that make me a worthless piece of shit. But I've complained about those already. I won't bore you again. Just read some of my other blogs if you don't know what they are. But then again, if you know me, you already know exactly why I'm a worthless piece of shit.

Fuck you people. I should just fucking shoot myself in the face. You people are tired of me anyways. I'm only good to fucking have around when I can help you. Other than that. I'm just a worthless fucking pagan. All anyone has fucking done these last few weeks is fucking complain at me about all the shit that is wrong in their lives. I'm fucking tired of it. Yeah. I'll help you, but when you complain about the SAME EXACT SHIT over and over EVERY FUCKING DAY I'm going to get sick of it. Just fucking leave me alone people. The next person to talk to me about something that they've talked to me about before I'm just going to fucking scream at them. I CAN'T FUCKING TELL YOU ANYTHING DIFFERENT THAT I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY YOU STUPID FUCKING DOUCHE BAGS! SO JUST STOP! YOU PEOPLE ARE PRETTY MUCH ADULTS, I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT YOU CAN DEAL WITH THIS SHIT ON YOUR OWN. FUCK! I COULD DEAL WITH THE SHIT YOU PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT ON MY OWN AND I'M 15. SO JUST SHUT UP.

Don't fucking comment on this with "Sara, now that wasn't very nice" I don't fucking give a shit if it's nice or not. I really don't. So if you're going to lecture me on my language, or my manners, then just fuck off. I don't want to hear it. You people are fucking stupid.

Last day of school

So, today was awesome. I did my Art final thing, yup. I kicked ass at it. it was awesome. And then I went to Tech. and we just fucked off, I got some awesome videos, a couple of Nate B. rapping, just one really long one about nothing. Yup. then I went to Child Development, and after I finished the final in there, I left to hang out with my best buddy Nathan Cox. He's cool. We walked around school getting stuff on video, we got this kid Mike playing DDR. he kicked ass at it. He's my hero. Then we went to go silly string Cutters room, but she was like "NO GUYS! I JUST GOT IN A ARGUMENT WITH THE JANITOR! PLEASE DON'T!" and we didn't because she's an awesome teacher, and we don't want her being in trouble. So then Nathan gave me a ride home in his Impala, it was fucking awesome. It was red. It was nice. It had awesomeness seaping from it. Yes. So we still had the silly string, so we did driveby shootings with silly string. It was fucking awesome. Yup.

In all, it was an awesome last day of school.

The BEST part about it, is that I get to celebrate, today is the last day that I have to see Adam. I never have to look at that kid again. I will never again hear his voice. I am happy.

But yeah, I'll get the videos up as soon as I can. It'll be awesome.

What I want.

I want a boy. One who respects me. I want a boy who loves me endlessly. I want a boy who is honest and caring. I want a boy who will just hold me when I have a bad day until I feel better. I want a boy who will tell me anything, and who I can tell everything to. I want a boy who is nice to my friend, even when he doesn’t like them. A boy my brothers approve of. I want a boy who I can believe when he tells me that I’m beautiful. I want a boy who tells me everyday that he loves me. I want a boy who has almost everything in common with me. I want a boy who holds my hand in the hall and writes me notes. I want a boy who doesn’t get mad at me when I mess up, who sees me as perfect no matter what I do. I want a boy who can accept my past and never judge me for it, and never use it against me. I want a boy who is charming and witty. I want a boy who knows when to be serious and when to be playful. I want a boy who can make me laugh, and would never make me cry. I want a boy who would never hit me. I want a boy who is patient and understand that my paranoia is because I think they are so great that they would never love someone like me. I want a boy who lets me hang out with him and his friends. I want a boy who supports me and all my geeky hobbies like chess, video games, comics, and computers. A boy who would never tell me I can’t do something or that I’m not good enough. A boy, who never questions why I randomly scream in quiet room. I want a boy who is smart and can have an intellectual conversation with me, where he is more involved that the occasional “yeah” or “Ok”. I want a guy who can debate with me without getting too aggressive. I want a guy who will never yell at me. Who will never say that I’m stupid or worthless. A boy who will never make me decide what we go do unless I want to. I want a boy who knows how to have fun. I want a boy who lets me play with his hair. I want a guy who joins in when I start air guitaring to no music. I want a guy who has goals, a guy who wants to get somewhere in life. I want a boy who is going to stay around. I want a boy willing to do anything for me. I want a boy that makes me feel like I’m just as great as he says I am. I want a boy who knows that I’m crazy, and loves it. I want a boy who isn’t afraid to talk about how he feels. I want a boy who will stay awake all night with me when I’m afraid to fall asleep. I want a boy that remembers my birthday. I want a boy that doesn’t consider me ‘one of the guys’ when I start talking about cars or sports. I want a boy that I can love without getting hurt. I want a boy to completely devote myself to. I want a boy that can be my everything. I want a boy that I can do all of the things he does for me to him. I want a boy that I can make feel as loved as he makes me feel.

I win.

I'm going to Oaks Park with my little brother. It's going to be awesome. I'll pick up some guys xD. Get laid in the bathroom. Kidding. But anyways. It'll be great. we're going to ride in the squirrel cages until we throw up. It'll be awesome.

Love - Sara Lynn xD

This is my little brother :D I'm pretty sure this was from when I dyed his hair. then I made him put on that crown thing and let me take pictures. there were pictures that looked really bad.. but I'm nice enough not to put those up.. xD I'm only mean to whores named Heather. xD because they "wunna hauv chillren aufter haigh Scoo." LMAO!

This year.

This year has been insane. I’ve lost some friends, but I’ve gained even more. I’ve become a stronger person in general, and become much bolder. I’ve learned the right times to keep my head down or speak up. This year has taught me that it is important to have my opinion heard, and to stand by it no matter what people think I’ve learned that your real friends are the ones who stay home from a school dance with you because you don’t have a date, but end up dragging you there anyways. I’ve learned that love comes and goes, it hurts sometimes but that will make it so much better when you find the true thing. I’ve learned to be nice to my enemies, it catches them off guard. I’ve learned that giving random people hugs is a good way to make friends. I’ve learned to talk to the quiet kid in the back of the room, because they’re the ones that will never try to hurt you, they’re the ones who will be there for you. I’ve learned that it’s ok to cry. I learned that forgiveness is important. I’ve learned not to judge how good life is by now many people I know, but by now the people I know make me feel. It doesn’t matter if you have 100 friends that barely know you, what does matter is the 2 that you can trust with anything.

The last month

This kid that probably doesn't want to be named, Adam, has been a fucking asshole.

Ok, so we meet in art class right, he's a hella cool kid. We start going out, and he treats me like dirt, he says that he'll do thing that he never does, he's just an all around bad boyfriend. But that's fine, he's just got some problems right now, he'll deal with them, and it'll all be good. So then he breaks up with me, because I'm not good enough, but he tells me that it isn't my fault. Yeah, right. So I find out that he had lied to me about a lot of stuff, and he can't even admit to it when I ask him about it. Whatever, I'll forgive him for that. So then he get pissed at me because I didn't run after him and make sure he's ok when someone threw a piece of apple at him, right after he threw a whole apple at me, hard enough for it to break. Yeah, so I'm the cunt and horrible person because I wasn't worried about him. Whatever, I forgive him for that too. And so then he tells me that I'm ruining his life? whatever. So he decides to tell me that I'm stupid, and I need to get over my past. That I'm too stupid to see that all I need to do is let my past go and I'll be fine. So he posts a bulletin about out supposed conversation, but he altered it quite a bit, none of what he put that I said was true, and he took out more than half of what he said, because he didn't want to seem like an asshole. Whatever. I've had it with this kid. he is such a fucking prick. All he thinks about is himself, One minute he'll have all these friends that he says love him, and would die for him, then the next second, when he wants people to feel bad for him, he doesn't have any friends, and everyone hates him, and there is no one he can talk to. What the fuck ever. He can go kill himself for all I care. the guy is a douche bag. UGH! So then his girl friend is threatening to beat me up, I really don't think she knows what she's getting into, I don't think she understand that if I'm mad enough, I won't stop bashing her head against the wall until she isn't breathing.

But yeah, that isn't even half of what happened. If you want the full story, and have my number, call me. I am seriously about to fucking kill something.

I am so tired of stupid fucking people talking about how much I piss them off. Yeah, I piss a lot of people off, If you don't like it, then don't fucking talk to me, I don't force you to sit and listen to me talk. Really.

Today....

Today I felt even more worthless than I usually do. I felt stupid too.

I was told that I need to stop living in the past, and that if I want my life to be better then I should make it that way. I felt really stupid, because they were acting like my past was no big deal, that I should just get over it, that made me so mad, that they would just act like it wasn't a big deal. But they're right. It's the past, I can't do anything about it. I need to just get over it. I need to just move on from it. I can't forget it, and it would be stupid to try and forget. I don't even want to forget it, it made me who I am. I just need to move on from it, and not let it control me anymore.

To the person who said that to me - I'm sorry that I was a bitch about it. I really didn't mean to, I was just mad, for what turned out to be no reason. I hope you can forgive me for that, but it's fine if you can't, I understand. You were right though. I love you.


On a different note. I read relatively a lot today, compared to how much I have been reading. I've been meaning to start reading more again. I used to read a lot, and then I sort of stopped. I don't really know why. I'm going to start reading again. Right now I'm reading a book called The Wishing Garden. It's good, about this dysfunctional family, and a dying grandfather. Yup.


On another completely different note. I read a blog that Adam posted today, about what his plans are after high school, and I realized that I don't have plans or goals, and I think that I should get some. But there is a problem, I'm not really good at very many things, so I don't know what it is that I should make my goal. The things I'm good at are Drawing, Math, Mechanics, and Writing. So maybe you guys could help me and give me some career options that use those skills? I have thought of a few Tattoo artist, mechanic, architect. I'm a fast learner, so if the job takes more skills than I have, I can learn them fairly easily. I don't know. Oh well, I have 3 more years to figure it out.

Love and Affection - Sara Lynn

Just a Ranting

What's the point? Why is it that we keep going from day to day to day? We sit and say "Oh, one day the world will be better" as it just gets worse. You always hear people say "well there are a lot of people worse off then me" but what about the person with the worst life in the world? Where is their hope? I'm not implying that I have the worst life ever, because I know I don't, I know that I have it better than a lot of people, but I have it worse than a lot of people too.
There are so many things in this world that just simply shouldn't happen. But they do anyway, I just can't grasp how it happens. So many people think of things like rape, molestation, torture, and abuse, as things that are just unavoidable. They acknowledge that they are wrong, but people have just accepted them as unavoidable things that are going to keep happening. Don't people have a voice in their head screaming "this shit shouldn't happen! This isn't right! This could all be stopped if people took the time and tried! Why isn't anyone putting forth the effort to stop this!"
I think it is obvious to everyone that the punishments in the United States don't work. People go to jail, get out, then do it all over again. If someone is lucky enough to get the death sentence, they are killed painlessly with a shot, mot quite the equivalent of the "shot" in the heart they gave the person that you will now find in the morgue or 6 feet under. If a guy rapes a girl, don't put him in prison, he'll just get out and do it again. instead, lock him in a room with the girls dad, brother, or best friend for a couple hours. I guarantee that he isn't going to be rapping anyone else. I guarantee that he isn't going to be able to walk again, let alone rape anyone.
So, that was the ranting for today. Hope you enjoyed.

Kitty

So, today I took pictures of Kitty... Yeah, the cats name is Kitty.. I didn't pick it, so don't laugh at me. This one I didn't use photoshop on. It's ok I guess. It could have been a bit more interesting if I had gotten more in the shot, and if it was a brighter day it would have been a bit better, but today was kindof cloudy.
This one I obviously used photoshop on. I brightened the picture, and I highered the contrast. I think it looks better. The grass is brighter, instead of that disgusting dead green color. Kittys fur looks healthier too.
I think this one is pretty good. Not my best, but good. I made it black and white to hide the brown spots on the lawn, they didn't make the picture very attractive. Also, all the surrounding colors took away from what the picture was suposed to be of.
I changed the brighness and contrast in this one also. It's good, but Kitty looks pissed at me.
This one is probably my favorite. I didn't use photoshop on it, I liked it that much. It isn't very good. I just like it for some reason. I duno. Oh well.



So that is what I did today, I took pictures of a cat. Go me. I also made sugar cookies, with sprinkles, and some had frosting. It was brilliant.